HoH的阅读分享

How to Go From Fear to Freedom, One Step at a Time

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 22:45:17 +0800

Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility, to give something back. ~ Anthony Robbins

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Tess Marshall of The Bold Life.

Every path to success has been littered with doubt, fear, and uncertainty, as well as persistence, calculated risks and repeated action.

The difference between someone who fails and someone who succeeds is the courage to act, repeatedly.

When I was 22 years old, I was mom to four daughters under the age of four. My third pregnancy was twins. Taking care of them was utter madness at such a young age.

I lived in a constant state of exhaustion. I lost weight, I had dark circles under my eyes, and I had suicidal thoughts.

The impulse I fought, was to run, to leave and never look back. My biggest fear at the time was, “I’m not capable.”

In my state of exhaustion, while crying myself to sleep at night, I would ask my husband again and again, “What am I going to do. How am I suppose to keep going?”

He never faltered, his answer was always the same, “You’re going to get out of bed tomorrow morning and put one foot in front of the other. You’re going to do it one step at a time. That’s how you’re going to do it.”

For 22 years that’s exactly what I did.

I made the decision to follow his advice. I was young, strong, and determined. I would focus only on the step in front of me and I would not fail.

It was the most difficult job I ever had.

Leo coined the word, “Joyfear” last year during an exercise at The World Domination Summit and wrote it on his arm.

He defines Joyfear as the mixture of two powerful emotions, joy and fear.

Leo goes on to say, “It turns out every single defining moment in my life has been filled with Joyfear, with a mixture of intense joy and intense fear into one ball of powerful emotions that both lift me up and make me see things clearly when I hadn’t before.”

When I read that I remember thinking, “I know exactly what he is talking about.”

I know now, that the emotion that propelled me forward, as a young parent was Joyfear. Today the girls are 39, 37, 35 and 35 years old.

What fear is holding you back? Where do you feel incapable? What daunting task can you complete, one step at a time?

Read on for action steps that will propel you forward.

Make the decision to succeed. Once you decide on success you rarely allow doubt to enter your mind. Your persistence, dedication, and resilience are strengthened. You free yourself to do the uncommon and the impossible.
Take risks. Chase your fear. Do what scares you. Make the dreaded phone call. Ask for what you want. When you experience rejection, ask someone else. Be bold and brave. Defy the odds.
Be prepared. Anticipate your own needs. Unemployment is the world’s fastest-rising worry, according to a BBC World Service survey. Don’t live in fear, create solutions in advance. Know how you will get out, over, around, and through what could go wrong.
Let go of urgency and fear. Learn to relax and go with the flow. Our anxiety and stress are caused by living in the pain of the past or the fear of the future. Life happens in the present moment.
Focus on the benefits of your success. Become focused on what you will gain. Is your benefit financial freedom, travel, saving the lives of others, or leaving a legacy you can be proud of? When the going gets tough, focus on your “why.”
Calm your body. Find a quiet place and bring your attention inward, notice where your fear resides in your body. Notice if you have a tense forehead, shallow breathing, or aching shoulders. Relax the area of your body that’s being affected. Learn to calm and center yourself.
Create your own fan base. I believe that most people have good hearts. They want to see you succeed. Believe people are cheering for you. When you are scared out of your mind, imagine everyone you know in one place rooting wildly for you.
Participate in life. Turn off your television, electronics, and the negative media. Take a guitar lesson, a skydiving lesson or yoga lesson. Swim in the ocean, hike in the mountains, or go for a morning walk or run.
You are enough. Accept who you are and where you are today. When you compare yourself to others you create your own suffering. My friends were in college when I was changing diapers. I was too busy to care. What others think of you is none of your business.

Hugh Macleod, from Gaping Void, has advice for our economic times: “Learn how to work hard, work long hours, find something you love, and then excel at it. Above all else, learn how to create, learn how to invent. That’s your only hope, really.”

I agree with Hugh, however — unless you can learn how to move through your fear, you’ll continue to hold yourself back. You’ll never learn to risk, to excel, to create, to invent or to experience Joyfear.

Tess Marshall is the founder of The Bold Life, where she inspires people to live a fearless life. If you are tired of being stuck in fear and want to step into your greatness, click here to learn more about Take Your Fear and Shove It.

人生只有900个月!

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 16:33:45 +0800

看到阮一峰写这篇文章已经很久了,原文在这里:请戳我,有大量照片的,照片也挺震憾，看过之后一直想写点东西，今天终于开写了。他的开头是这样写的：

有人在Quora问：

"最令你吃惊的事实是什么？"

他得到了56个回答。其中最震撼我的，是下面的回答：

"人生只有900个月。"

我从没意识到，人生可以短暂到如此精确。回想刚刚过去的四月份，不过就是一眨眼的时间，但是人生的900分之一就已经消失了，真是恐怖啊。事实上，你可以画一个30×30的表格，一张A4纸就够了。每过一个月，就在一个格子里打钩。你全部的人生就在这张纸上。你会因此有一个清晰的概念：你的人生是如何蹉跎的。

当时就想着要画这么一个表格，可是又怕表格上能写上数据的都太吓人，怕自己蹉跎的过去把自己吓着，自己想着，如果这一个月过的还算可以，就画一个对号，如果浪费了一个月，就画个叉号，平平淡淡，糊弄日子，就画个圈，怕自己的过去多数是叉…… 最近这一年也是这种感觉，时间走的很快，我们追的很累，结果走到年末，却发现，这一年很快很快，没感觉的就走完了。自己在过去一直总在一遍一遍的担心中走过，总是担心自己又浪费了时间，从各种缝隙中寻找时间，制定各种各样看上去很完美的计划，可是真正能实行下去的，并不多。每每都有一种强烈的蹉跎感，看着计划在一个又一个的计划中慢慢变成没有任何记录和成果的历史，还自我安慰道：这些以后有机会都会做到的，都会成功的，总有一天会成功的。近来和朋友讨论将来，朋友把他的将来都规划的很好，每一个细节都考虑到，把各种各样的问题都整理好，并且现在就着手准备，准备等一切都准备好，我十分不赞同这种方法，当我们拥有一个米粒的时候，我们应该考虑一下当我们拥有一袋米的时候怎么做，这属于发展眼光，但这个时候，我们需要考虑一个米仓的管理吗？我们只有900个月，不要拿未来可能出现的问题来打扰现在的我们，认真做好当下应该做的事，不论是为未来担心，还是为未来做准备，都不如把现在该做的事做好，看到下面这句话：

“找出最重要的五件事，然后毫不动摇地专注于此，不断地重复。少即是多。”

我们能够做的事很少，能够做好的事就更少了，找到最重要的事，不断的重复，才能让我们的每一天都画上对号。记得有本书叫《当下的力量》，里面说：你或许生活在对未来的焦虑中，你或许无法摆脱过去留给你的痛苦，你和你的伴侣或许总是纠缠在无尽相互伤害，怎样解决这些永远困扰我们生活的烦恼，获得心灵的宁静和幸福呢？我们唯一能做的，就是，活在当下，活好当下，不要让我们的小格子里没有对号。

作者博客

如何预防久坐伤身？

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 07:56:00 +0800

本文原文来自LifeHacker，译者@小栾Cooper和@Pushing_Lap。

你是否知道每天在椅子或者沙发上坐超过六小时会带来以下一系列烦人的问题？看看这些令人忧心的事实：患心脏病的机率将提高了将近64%，减损七年高质量的生活，增加患上某种癌症的危险。换言之，久坐会要了你的命。这确实是个噩耗。不过好消息是，无论你有多懒，这个问题都不难解决。

我们从基本的开始分析吧。从小我们就知道整天坐在沙发上是伤身的。但是，这是为什么呢？简单地说，我们的身体并不适合久坐。长时间久坐，就算中间穿插一些锻炼，对身体健康还是有负面的影响。更糟糕的是，许多人一天坐着的时间长达15小时，这意味着，他们连散步的时间都花在沙发上，椅子上和车上了。

久坐并不是很难克服的坏习惯，关键在两个细节：日常活动、注意久坐时间。我们先来看看久坐是怎样影响身体的吧。

久坐对身体产生的伤害评估

要想准确地评估出久坐对身体带来多大的伤害是件困难的事，因为这还与个人的饮食习惯以及其他因素相关。因此，这里假设你身体相对健康（不酗酒，不抽烟，体重也不超标）。我们将从你坐下的那刻开始，评估每天坐六个小时以上对你身体的影响。为了使大家对这个评估有个整体的了解，请参考一下这张从医疗账务处理中得到的分项数据，对应不同的时间，可以看到久坐带来的不同影响（哪怕你是坐在桌子上、或使用站立式办公桌也会带来相应的问题）。

刚刚坐下那一刻

当你坐下的时候，肌肉里面的电流活动减弱，同时卡路里燃烧速度下降到每分钟一卡路里，这是你走路时所消耗卡路里的三分之一。如果久坐整整24个小时，供应给胰岛素的葡萄糖会减少40%，这最终可能会导致你患上第二型糖尿病。

每天坐六个小时，两周以后

当久坐变成生活方式的前5天时间里，你体内的甘油三酯（脂肪分子）、低密度脂蛋白胆固醇（又名坏胆固醇）和胰岛素耐受性将上升。这意味着肌肉不吸收脂肪，血糖浓度提高，从而增加肥胖风险。两个星期之后，肌肉将开始萎缩，最大耗氧量降低。也就是说，爬楼梯和跑步对你来说变得难了。即使你有每天健身，身体机能的退化还是会在你结束健身后出现。

每天坐六个小时，一年以后

一年之后，久坐带来的长期影响开始慢慢明显。根据Nature的研究，久坐有可能导致体重增加和胆固醇过高的问题。针对女人的研究表明，如果每天久坐超过6个小时，骨质每年减少可高达1%。

每天坐六个小时，十至二十年以后

久坐的生活方式持续10-20年之后，等于你失去7个高品质生活年（那种你想过的生活）。会让因心脏病死亡的几率上升64%，得前列腺癌或乳腺癌的几率增加30%。

是不是觉得这些很可怕？但是别担心，接下来我们将教你怎样在不完全改变生活方式的前提下应对久坐带来的负面影响

如何在不改变生活方式的前提下防止久坐伤身

幸运地是，你只需要做两件事来应对这些负面的影响：

记住每小时要站立一次。
每天要做大约30分钟的运动。

无论你是个整天黏在肥皂剧前的宅人还是坐电脑面前的白领，一个澳大利亚的研究表明每坐一个小时经过短暂休息可以减轻上面提到的危害。短暂休息不是指去健身，虽然健身有其好处，但是对于抵消久坐危害却没有多少帮助。你只需做些简单适度的活动，让你的身体从久坐中解放出来。

所以，什么是适度的活动呢？我曾与Brian Parr博士（美国南卡罗莱纳大学艾肯分校训练与健康科学学院院副教授）探讨过。他指出了适度活动与锻炼之间的差别：

我们常跟人们说适当活动就相当于快步走路。这包括了整理院子和清洁房间，任何能让你活动一下的事情都算。你并不需要做那些人们常说的锻炼。

当然，肥皂剧迷和白领难得有30分钟的空闲时间，但是，你可以把这30分钟分散到一整天，Brian Parr博士说：

我们经常告诉人们把活动时间分成10分钟的小片段，因为这是最实际的。如果我告诉你可以把这30分钟分散到一整天中，你会说，“我可以站起来经过房间走到茶水间”，十秒钟？在我看来，你不应该这样做（划分时间），但你可以这样试试（走动起来活动筋骨）。

你想把时间分成十分钟的主要原因在于这样可以在身体里产生小许的压力，帮助提高你的忍耐力。在现实生活中，这意味着你爬楼梯将不会爬到一半就觉得累了。试着这样子想：你不会每天快跑十分钟来锻炼马拉松。相反的，会通过长距离的慢跑来提高你的耐力。日常活动也是一样的道理，你需要维持一定的时间才能使效果有作用。

接下来我们将教你如何评估每天的活动量和确保你有离开你的座椅。

从利用计步器计算日常活动量基线开始

要做的第一件事情就是计算一下你现在正常一天的活动量是多少。对我而言，最简单的办法就是用计步器记录我一天走过的步数。你可以在亚马逊上花三美元就买到个便宜的计步器，或者使用iPhone或者Android手机上的应用程序。

你第一步要做的就是步行三十分钟，看看你走了多少步。我的总步数是略小于4000步。你的步伐的快慢和大小会最终影响你的结果。

下一步，你得找出日常活动量的基线。起床后把记步计打开，放在口袋里（或者打开手机里的应用），直到你晚上睡觉时结束记录。这样就可以从记步计上估量出你的日常活动量。

对我来说，如果不针对性地做运动，那么最后得到是数据将低得可怕。我总共走过的步数低于2000步。这个数字真的弱爆了，这相当于一天步行不超过一公里。毫无疑问，我需要站起来，到处多转转。

稍微改变你的行为达到目标活动量

如果你像我一样，步行数也是远远低于目标运动量。只需在你生活中进行一些小的改变来帮助你实现目标。以下是一些建议：

在停车场的远端停车
站起来走过去取文件夹，而不是滚动椅子滑过去
走过去跟你的同事面对面沟通问题而不是给他们发邮件
沿着景致路线去卫生间而不是最短路径

从离开家去上班开始，我就刻意去做这些来实现目标运动量。我开始在下午步行到附近的咖啡店，每天至少骑上10-20分钟的室内自行车。如果这两个都没做，那我会去洗衣服，因为这样我得走两次楼梯。

达到目标活动量只是第一步。第二步要做的要更加简单些，那就是不时的站起来。下面是一些小贴士，用于提示自己别忘了不时要站立一下。

设置定时提醒来使你站立一下

我们知道，如果每小时不时的站立一两分钟，这将有效抵消整天坐着带来的负面影响。从技术角度来说，你甚至不需要移动一下，只是站一下对你的帮助都很大。可是忙着工作的时候，我们就会常常忘记了。我在Mac OS X里发现有个定时提醒的功能：点击设置 > 日期与时间 > 时间提醒。Windows的用户也可以设置类似的提醒，通过这个路径设置：控制面板 > 管理工具 > 任务安排。

如果电脑的定时提醒还不够，不妨下载一个专门的软件来提醒。Windows用户可以下载类似的免费软件，例如Workrave和Breakder，Mac用户就可以使用Time Out。这些软件会定时提醒你站立一下，并把电脑显示屏变暗从而强制你离开座位。

这取决于你怎么利用这些短时休息。你甚至可以不移动如果你不愿意的话。如果你那时确实想运动一下又不想离开座位，以下有一些小建议。

站起来
原地踏步20秒
伸出手，尝试着触摸到脚趾，持续20秒
远望一下，重复或变换刚才的运动

我还买了个iCade放在站立时的水平高度，这样我站立着的时候就有事可做。就我而言，我没办法只是呆呆地站立几分钟啥也不干，我得找点事情做。如果我站起来不想伸展一下的话，iCade会给我增加一些目标感。

把那些蹩脚的广告变成必须站立起来的理由

电视广告毫无意义。与其坐在那里浪费时间看那些过去20年你已经看过的广告，何不站起来，趁广告时间活动一下。

为了能在广告时间找到一些有建设性的事情来做，我会在咖啡桌那里贴着张的待办事项列表，不同于办公室里列表，这里面包括如：去丢垃圾，洗碗，清洗猫砂盘或者其他需要完成的事情。最重要的是？我不用去看那些无聊的广告了。

同样的，在玩网游的时候，我把每一局的结束当成是需要站立一下的提示。如果在玩单机游戏，我会在游戏加载间隔时候站立一下。

这些的关键在于，我们坐下时在享受的大部分活动包括了很多等待间隙。如果你是在看书，可以在每一个或者两个章节后停下来站立一下。如果你是在玩拼字游戏，可以在每一局结束后站立一下，而不是继续坐着发呆。站起来，这其实非常简单。

最后重复一遍两个要点：每小时站立一小会，每天至少活动30分钟。就这么简单。除非体型超重，否则你不需要进行锻炼或者去健身房来抵消久坐带来的负面影响，只需要保证一整天有活动一下，你甚至可以不用放弃长时间的看电视节目而只需要每小时花一点时间注意一下。

或许你也想阅读：
别折损了你的背！健康姿势贴士	在工作时也享受美美的休息	你会休息吗？掌握最高效的休息方式	男人二十岁后应该学会的习惯	如何重新培养和坚持体育锻炼的好习惯
无觅

A Survival Guide for Beating Information Addiction

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 02:01:36 +0800

Post written by Leo Babauta.

Are you suffering from information addiction? It’s a growing problem as people spend more and more of their time online — and while online tools are amazing, being addicted to checking them can steal most of your day.

You know you’re an information addict if you:

Check email, Facebook, news, or some other social network first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
Are constantly on your mobile device when you’re away from home/office.
Can’t get away from the computer in order to get outside, exercise, or spend time with people while disconnected.
Are constantly posting to Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, or texting/emailing, when meeting with other people.
Can’t get important work done because you have to check your messages.
Feel anxiety if you’re completely disconnected for more than a few minutes.
Can’t imagine spending an entire day disconnected.

Now, if none of these seem like a problem for you, even if you do them, then they probably aren’t a problem. But if you see yourself in one or more of these and want to change, this guide is for you.

This survival guide isn’t the ultimate guide to beating an addiction, however — it’s a set of tips and techniques I’ve used to survive the constant pull of the online world.

First Steps

Don’t know where to start? These first steps can be done today.

1. Assess your habits. What are you addicted to most? When are you most likely to be sucked into your addiction? For the rest of today, and the next several days, keep a handy little piece of paper and a pen/pencil with you, and write down the things you check often, putting a tally mark next to those things each time you check them. A TV news channel? Facebook or Twitter or G+? Pinterest or Reddit? Keep a tally so you know what you’re dealing with.

2. Introduce the pause. Addictions are something we often do automatically, without thinking. Start to break this chain of trigger-habit auto-response by wedging a small pause in between them. When you get the urge to check something you’re addicted to, notice this urge, and pause for just one second. During this pause, simply ask yourself, “Do I really want to do this, and why?” You can then go on to do it, no matter what the answer, but the important thing is having at least the briefest pause.

3. Take a break every hour. Even if you’re stuck on the sites you’re addicted to all day long, take 1o minute breaks once an hour. Set up an hourly reminder on your computer, and when that reminder pops up, get away from the computer. Take a walk for 10 minutes. Stretch. Do some pushups and squats. Clean your messy house. Write in a notebook, or sketch. Talk to someone in person. Drink some water and have a fruit. Meditate. When you come back to the computer, try closing the browser for a few minutes and doing some non-Internet work before going back online.

Changing Habits

Over the long term, you can change your habits. This will take a month or two, so you’ll want to fully commit to a change. Any change done half-assed won’t last.

1. Start with your biggest trigger. Assuming you’ve done the assessment and introduced the pause as recommended above, you should know your most common triggers — the things that cause you to go check something. That might be things like: starting a work task (and wanting to avoid it), getting on a bus/train, waking up, eating, getting a notification on your phone or computer, being bored or stressed, thinking of something you want to look up. Whatever your triggers are, pick the one that happens most. If there are several, just pick one of those randomly.

2. Pick a replacement habit. What do you want to do instead of checking email, Facebook, Twitter or the like? Pick something positive and fun that you can do in 5 minutes every time your most common trigger happens. That might be: reading a few pages of a novel, journaling, doing pushups, taking a walk, drinking water, meditating, writing, painting, practicing a language, writing a letter with paper and pen, etc. You’re going to try to do this every time the habit happens, instead of the actual habit.

3. Do the new habit after the trigger, every time. Don’t allow any exceptions, or you won’t form the habit. A new habit is formed much faster, and more strongly, if you do it extremely consistently after the trigger. If you’re inconsistent, and still do the old habit, you are allowing the old habit to stay in place. Now, just because you miss once or twice doesn’t mean you should give up — just start again and try to be more consistent, figure out why you failed, and plan to beat that obstacle. But set a rule that you’ll allow no exceptions!

4. Use positive public pressure. Having accountability helps. Blogging about your new change, or posting it on Facebook or Twitter (I know, a bit ironic), can help you feel some public accountability. Tell everyone you know that you’re not going to check Facebook (for example) within 15 minutes of starting an important work task. My friend Michael Ellsberg uses negative consequences (something I’ve done in the past as well): if he eats sugar or refined carbs, he has to make a donation to Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign (not a good thing for Michael, who is not a Romney supporter). Leverage the power of social media to beat social media.

A Balanced Life

In the long run, it’s good to have an idea of what life would be like if you’re not controlled by an information addiction.

How will you work? What will you be like if you’re not checking things all day? Some things to consider:

The goal isn’t to eliminate all information sources and be shut off from the online world. It’s not to throw out your iPhone or laptop. These tools are incredibly useful and powerful — obviously I make my living using them, and they have changed our lives in so many positive ways. The idea is simply not to be controlled by them, and to have a balanced life that includes other activities.
Schedule time for non-Internet and non-media activities. That means actually block them off on your schedule. If you want to exercise, block off some time during the week for exercise (even just 30 minutes 3 times a week). Schedule time to spend with your friend and loved ones. Schedule time for a walk in solitude.
Work without distractions. Each morning, figure out the 1-3 important things you’re going to get done that day. Do the first one first, before diving into email and online distractions. Shut down your browser if you can. If necessary, do the work somewhere without Internet, or unplug your router and give the router cord to someone to hold for an hour. Turn off all notifications on your computer and mobile device. Close everything but what you need to do your task. Learn to focus.
Schedule a limited time for your information sources. How often do you want to check email and Facebook (or other sites)? Pick a time and schedule for using these tools in your life, and set a limit — twice a day for just 15 minutes a session, for example. This limit allows you to use these tools but also have time for other things, and it forces you to decide what’s important within that limit and to use the limited time efficiently.
Choose your sources wisely. Cull your information sources and tools to the most important. Sometimes we use things just because everyone else is, but they might not be really adding much to our lives. For example, I deleted my Facebook account last year, and haven’t missed it. My life goes on! You might decide to delete your Instagram or Pinterest account, to save yourself from endless browsing of things that aren’t really important, for example. You might decide to only read 10 really good blogs instead of 50 ones that take up your attention. Your attention matters — you should only give it to the things that make your life better.
Get some sleep. A lack of rest makes us less able to focus, and more likely to deviate from a plan of any kind of self-control. It also makes us more likely to be distracted by the Internet, according to a new study. Make rest a priority.

How to Stand Out When All You Have is Potential

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 02:35:25 +0800

Me at high school graduation: lots of potential, high expectations, no effing clue.

Ugh. I found someone who I thought would be a perfect role model, and I’d been trying to emulate his path to success, but it wasn’t working because he had broader life experiences, a deeper body of work, and a more powerful network—assets I didn’t have. What worked for him left me spinning my wheels. I needed a different approach. One that let me compete based on my potential. Because unlike him, my success was still in front of me.

Sound familiar? Here’s what I did:

I decided: no more role models.
Very few people have the self-awareness to look back and identify, with any accuracy, where their success spawned from good decisions and where it came from a lucky break. This means you can’t really trust anyone to turn their story into a path you can actually follow. Once I realized this, the idea of following someone else’s path was out of the question.

I decided to listen.
Some people have mentors. Me, I have a circle of profersonal™ relationships that’s made up of whip smart people. When I get together with any of them, I know where I stand. It’s clear in a second if they’re listening to me or not. So I started being more strategic in what I was sharing. Instead of sharing an opinion, I’d try asking a question. And a funny thing happened: those relationships began to change. One of them turned into my first formal mentor. Others went away. Things got real.

I decided to invest in a blue velvet jacket.
There’s no formal dress code for speakers, but there is definitely an informal one. I decided to have some fun with the norm: rather than try to break the rules, I amplified them, taking the standard blue blazer concept to the extreme. Nothing deep here, it just got me noticed.

I decided on a business.
This wasn’t an event as much as a 2 year process. Turns out, it’s easy to spot an opportunity, but it can be difficult to figure out the best way to monetize it. I went back and forth between what I wanted to do and what resources I had available—each a moving target—in an attempt figure out what was possible, interesting, and well suited to my strengths. This was harder than I expected, and I consistently found myself challenged to let go of one thing before I had a full grasp on the thing I was reaching for. Still, the process of finding my business gave me a consistent way to prioritize different opportunities.

I decided to experiment with new ways to tell my story.
I knew I had a good professional story, but I wasn’t getting as much from it as I thought I should have been. There was untapped potential. So I changed the way I told it, and I kept changing it until I started getting better reactions from people (read: better opportunities started coming my way).

Here’s something I learned: It’s not about impressing people, it’s about helping people opt in to your story. Ask me today how I got to where I am, and I’m more likely to highlight a few pivotal moments from my life than rehash my résumé. Those who can relate to my story stay. Those who can’t, don’t. And it’s relatively simple, once someone has opted in, to figure out how I can help them from a business perspective. It’s a system that works for everyone.

I decided that I want the ball.
I’m a teacher at heart. I want people at their best. I want to give them opportunities to shine. And somewhere along the way, I made a conscious decision that I also want to win. That triggered a shift in my thinking, from consultant to business owner, that was significant. Issues changed. Strategic questions crystalized and execution challenges suddenly started popping into my awareness.

I decided on a goal.
A scary goal. A public goal. A worthy goal.

A consistent goal.

I decided the past didn’t matter.
I had a very telling meeting in which I tried convincing someone that my ability to help people communicate online came from my experience as a coach. She didn’t buy it, and that surprised me. Either she was making an error in judgment, or I had misunderstood my own value. It seemed an important question, and I decided I wanted an honest answer. Which meant that I needed to be open to the possibility that my past didn’t matter anymore.

I decided to share.
I took on a partner. We developed a Board of Advisors. We brought people into our tent. I shared a vision with them and laid out what I thought the path was to that vision. Nobody laughed at me.

I decided to track my progress purposefully.
My goal was (and is) my goal. That’s it. Nothing else matters. So rather than casually track my progress whenever I felt like it, I started doing it regularly, with gaps between checks when I wouldn’t look at any metrics at all. Very liberating.

I decided to listen to my body instead of my head.
Paying attention to my decisions, I noticed that making decisions has a physical quality to it. There’s a resonance to them. When I make a good decision, I immediately feel lighter—a feeling I liken to dust coming off a tuning fork as it vibrates. Bad decisions, on the other hand, leave me feeling flat—if you’ve ever found a dead spot on a wood floor, and can imagine that flat feeling in your gut, then you have a sense for what I’m talking about. My point is, when my head gets cluttered, my body still seems to know what to do. So I pay attention. (I’ve done a little research on this; turns out, I’m not the first person to notice this. Not by a long shot.)

I don’t recall the order in which I did these things. Some happened quickly. Some evolved over time. But I did them all, and I did them all consciously. They were conscious decisions.

Which I think is the lesson: when all you have is potential, you have to act consciously. You have to decide where you’re going. You have to organize your potential and apply it in a concentrated fashion. Making decisions is how you let luck know where to find you. (Which I hope it does.)

All my best as you work to turn your potential into something more!

Jason Seiden is Co-founder and CEO of Ajax Social Media, a training company that shows professionals how use social media to work more effectively.

为什么你做不到呢

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 21:26:03 +0800


很多人问我，你为什么能够做到？而我却总是想问，你为什么做不到呢？
 
我想创业，我就能成为一个创业者啊，从找几个朋友一起做点小项目开始练练手试试水，然后稳步进阶找到完美合伙人一起做大的互联网项目啊；我想写作，我就会持续性的写字，每天连做面膜和烫脚的零碎时间都拾起来看书啊；我想做MBTI性格咨询师，我就会去搭讪中国和美国的各个机构，去考证书，去成为一个真正的MBTI咨询师啊。
 
而我真的发现，一旦迈出了第一步，机会就像是滚雪球似的，越来越大，越来越多。
 
直到现在我也还搞不清Python弄不懂PHP看C++也云里雾里的，但已经有很多人投来橄榄枝说想和我一起创业；当我还在咬指头琢磨自己的写作风格和写作语言的时候，但已经有出版社和杂志连连主动来要目录递合同；我才刚拿下MBTI证书，就已经有不少机构和公司向我招手送来邀请函。
 
很多人问我，你真的不需要其它的吗？而我总想问，你真的需要那么多其它的吗？
 
你真的需要投掷千金将一摞摞衣服一堆堆鞋包塞满衣橱吗？你真的需要背着沉重的月贷在大城市买下一间宽敞堂皇的住宅吗？你真的需要在回家之后陷进沙发里看一个小时的肥皂剧或上一个小时的人人网才能给自己充电吗？你真的需要把每个周末都交付给灯红酒绿和觥筹交错才能维持友情维系圈子吗？你真的需要那么多鲜花巧克力甜言蜜语暧昧游戏吗？
 
很多人问我，你为什么有时间？而我总是想问，你为什么没有时间呢？
 
我和自己说，我要少看电影，我就能从一天看三部电影锐减到一个月只看一部电影，唯一满足电影瘾的方法就是用吃饭时间在IMDB上看看新电影的预告片；我和我自己说，我要少看美剧，我就能只在吃午饭的时候花二十多分钟看那么一集，甚至根本不再跟美剧，而是切换到TED上去听听演讲；我和我自己说，我不再浪费时间date，我就能只date有soulmate潜力的，其它无谓的暧昧消遣都尽早扼杀。
 
我也有想做而做不到的，比如学化妆。每次我都和自己说，得好好学习一下才行呢，但是每次都对自己说，“啊，下次吧” “哎，以后再” “嗯，明天咯”。于是两年过去了，我的化妆水平依然是最初级的那么一抹一勾。原因只有一个，我心底里根本不介意，不在乎，不想要，不渴望。
 
你真的介意，真的在乎，真的想要，真的渴望的话，你一定能够做到的。真的。
 
什么事情都没有想象的那么难。但，的确，每一天每一小时每一分钟都清醒的做到，这很难很难。
 
决定命运的并不是天上掉下来的一个大大的机会，而是每一分钟里你做的一个微小的选择。所有的差别就只在那一分钟里。
 
David told me, it turns out, having the courage and the discipline to keep yourself motivated and focused are all you need to bridge the gap between dreams and reality. 
 
He was ABSOLUTELY right. 
 
 写在起步者十二问上线时
 03/01/2012

今天，我们可以重新开始

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 06:29:18 +0800

10年前，大三的时候，我认为“开始学英语已经晚了”，
7年前，研二找工作的时候，我也认为“开始学英语已经晚了”，
5年前，上班的时候，我被逼开始学英语了，
现在，我依然在坚持学英语，发现就算“现在开始学英语”一点都不晚。

“如果年轻10岁我可以写一本书”， “如果年轻5岁我肯定会挑战新领域”，“如果年轻10岁我肯定会好好学英语”，我们经常说这种话。

但是，“现在真的已经晚了吗？”
“当你认为已经为时已晚的时候，恰恰是最早的时候。”

或许“现在已经晚了”只是借口，是掩饰自己恐惧的借口，是逃避变化的借口，是不想付出的借口。为了在5年后、10年后不让自己经历同样的后悔，你应该从现在开始，重新开始。

日本有一位100多岁高龄的诗人，她叫柴田TOYO。

她在92岁的时候开始写诗，99岁（2009年）出了一本诗集，
她以简单透彻的诗风吸引了很多读者，累计发行量已破100万部了。
当有人问她都这么大年纪了，为什么还写诗，她回答：
“在我剩下的人生中，今天算年纪最小了”。

今天是你人生的第一天，也是开始某件事情最早的时候。

今天，我们可以重新开始。

“不要沮丧”
- 柴田TOYO

就算99岁也要恋爱也要怀着梦想，
人生总是从今天开始，
每天我们都将迎来新的早晨，
所以不要沮丧

随机日志

【外刊IT评论网】厌恶性盲区(schlep blindness)

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 00:39:58 +0800

[caption id="attachment_3621" align="alignright" width="110" caption="本文的作者 Paul Graham"][/caption] 本文的作者 Paul Graham 是著名的Y Combinator投资公司的创始人之一，他写过很多关于LISP语言的书，目前正在研究开发Arc——一种LISP语言的方言。

这世界上还有很多伟大的创业想法未被发掘出来，就在我们鼻子底下。我们之所以不能发现它们，其中一个原因就是我把它称作schlep blindness的现象。Schlep这个词最初来自一种犹太语，传入美国后被广泛的使用。它的意思是单调乏味、令人生厌的工作。

没人喜欢这样的事，程序员们尤其不喜欢。大多数创业的开发者都希望只需要写出一些好用的软件，放到某个服务器上，然后就可以看着财源滚滚而来——不要跟用户去交谈，不要跟其它公司打交道，不要处理别人有问题的代码。也许有这种可能，但我们从未遇到过。

在Y Combinator创业投资公司，我们要做很多事情，其中一个事情就是告诉软件开发者们单调乏味的事是无可避免的。是的，你不可只通过写代码来开创一个事业。我还记得我是怎样明白这些的。那是在1995年，我当时还在信誓旦旦的告诉自己只要写好代码就能开创一个公司。但很快，从实践中我认识到，单调乏味的事情不仅不可避免，而且是公司业务的重要组成部分。一个公司正是由它从事的那些单调乏味的业务定义出来的。对待单调乏味的事，你应该采取跟你面对一个冰冷的游泳池时同样的方法：跳进去。这并不是说你要主动寻找那些无聊的事去做，只是在当它出现在通往伟大事业的道路上时，你永远不要回避退缩。

对于讨厌单调乏味的事，这其中最危险的东西是，我们对此无意识。我们的无意识甚至会让我们看不见那些牵涉到讨厌的单调乏味的事情的好创意。这就是厌恶性盲区(schlep blindness)。

这种现象并不局限在创业问题上。例如，大多数人都没有意识到应该应该保持一个像奥林匹克运动员那样的体型。他们的无意识为他们做出了抉择，使他们从该做的事情上退缩。

我知道的关于厌恶性盲区的一个最著名的例子是Stripe公司，或者说是Stripe公司的创业创意更合适。十几年来，任何接触过在线支付的程序员都知道其中的过程是多么的讨厌。很多人都知道这个问题。然而，当人们要创业时，他们去做烹饪网站，或做本地新闻的聚合网站。为什么？为什么去做那些没人会关注或没有会掏钱的东西，而放着一个解决世界基础设施中的一个最重要的部件的机会不管？这是因为厌恶性盲区阻止了人们去思考解决这个支付的问题。

我想没人会在向Y Combinator创业投资公司申请开发一个烹饪网站时先问“是否可以让我们来解决支付问题，或建一个烹饪网站？”然后却选择烹饪网站。尽管解决支付问题的创意明显的摆在那里，人们永远都看不见，因为人们的无意识让他们在碰到复杂问题时退缩了。你需要跟银行打交道。你如何去做？加之有资金流动，你还要去处理欺诈问题，人们会攻击你的服务器。加之政策法规会限制你。相比起烹饪网站，你需要更大的勇气去开创这样的一个公司。

恐惧会使野心勃勃的想法价值翻倍。除了它内在的价值外，投资者会在这种意识下低估它的市值，会从创始人那里要的更少。当你决定实现一个雄大的想法时，你的竞争会更少，因为其他人会惊恐于这样大的挑战。(我们通常的创业也是这样。)

如何克服schlep盲区？坦白的说，对schlep盲区最有效的解药很可能是无知。大多数成功的创业人士几乎都会说，如果当初在开创他们的事业时知道有这么多的困难需求克服，他们也许不会去做这种事。也许，这就是为什么最成功的创业公司的创始人都很年轻的原因。

在实践中，这些创始人伴随着困难一起成长。但似乎没有人预见到了这些，即使年长的、有经验的创始人也是如此。所以，说年轻的创业者更有优势，这是因为他们犯了两个相互抵消的错误。他们不知道他们的事业能发展成什么样子，但他们也不知道他们需要知道这些。年长的创业者只犯了第一个错误。

然而，无知不能解决所有问题。有些想法会很显然引起令人惊恐的schlep，任何人都能发现。如何看待这样的创业想法？我推荐的技巧是，把自己放到情景外。与其问“我需要解决哪些问题？”，不如问“我希望别人能为我解决什么问题？”如果有人在Stripe出现之前需要进行支付处理而向你问这样的问题，那Stripe就是他们最想要的一个东西了。

stripe现在才出现是太晚了，但世界上还有大量的问题需要解决——如果你知道如何能看见它们。

本文来自外刊IT评论网(www.aqee.net)，原始地址：厌恶性盲区(schlep blindness)

给坚持一个理由

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 22:44:56 +0800

放弃只在一瞬间，而想要持之以恒地做一件事，需不断地给自己制造动力。在自己努力探索迷茫彷徨的时候，有时会傻乎乎地想：我这是干嘛呀，为什么不停下来歇歇，好好品品茶逛逛街？对啊，大约完成既定任务的60%-80%的时候，是最想停歇的时刻。要想让自己心满意足地完成目标，就必须训练自己的意志力，再坚持一会儿。

我刚刚完成了思想上从计划考研到计划工作的巨大变革，并制定出考一系列证，到时参加公考及银行招考的详细规划。为此，给自己定的配套要求是，每天坚持锻炼半小时，包括1200米跑步和跳绳1000个（诸位不要笑话……对我这个胖小孩来说已经算可观了）。还有证券每5天过完一章，而注会加紧看书。从开学来的这几天我是隔三差五地完不成，因为自身比较磨蹭，因为意志力不够强大……各种原因，甚为苦恼。更为甚者，我还保持隔段时间刷人人的恶习。今天既然已摆明儿了要解决这个问题，那就改成每天只用手机上两遍网；每周末打一回一个小时的游戏，看一部电影。嗯，就这么办。

先坚持下个礼拜，再一个礼拜，直到放暑假那天重订计划。加油呵亲。

还记得那本书么？《一万小时天才理论》。想起来贝多芬了。他的经历是，每天8小时，坚持40年。我们都需要对自己感兴趣的事业投入相当的心血，而我的导师也告诉我“任何一件事要做好，都必须花大量的功夫”。那还有什么话说，积累，积累，再积累；今天所付出的一路汗水都将浇灌出明天明艳的成功之花。

还有一个细节。天才们往往做事情是比较投入的，至于废寝忘食。我们还能这么投入地做事么？没有通讯、聊天工具等的打扰，没有其他可以让自己分心的东西，完全是无限痴狂地投入？试试看吧。

Stay strong，keep holding on. 天道酬勤，而功力必不唐捐。

Hope is a good thing

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 06:08:19 +0800

photo credit: h.koppdelaney

监狱里没有自由，所以一听“没有自由”我们就能联想到“监狱“。

前段时间重新看了一遍”肖申克的救赎”。

故事发生在1947年，银行家安迪因为妻子有婚外情，酒醉后本想用枪杀了妻子和她的情人，但是他没有下手，巧合的是那晚有人枪杀了他妻子和她情人，他被指控谋杀，被判无期徒刑，这意味着他将在肖申克监狱渡过余生。

在监狱里，安迪成为唯一一个拥有“希望”的人，瑞德说“希望是个危险的东西，他会让你发疯的，在这里面他没有用，你最好习惯这一点”。

但是安迪的希望并不仅仅停留在“希望”的层面，通过每天的具体化、每天的行动他逐渐接近他的目标，他用一个很小很小的石锤，每天挖一点挖一点，虽然这是一件既危险又无聊的事情，但是他每天都在做一点点，最终越狱成功。

在看似没有自由的监狱里，安迪还做了两件自己喜欢的事情，一个是历经10年建图书馆，还有一个是教一个监狱里的青年，让他拿到毕业证。

他完全可以象其他人一样，抱怨不公的现实，自暴自弃，但他没有。他通过自己的行动，把生活一点一点变成自己能掌控的方向，让自己做一些自己喜欢的事情。

7,8年前上大学的时候看过这部电影，当时唯一的想法是安迪太了不起了，竟然能越狱。过了这么多年重新看这部电影，感慨万千。

为了买房买车“过上好日子”做自己不喜欢的事情、无法摆脱的现实不就是一栋监狱吗？我们所有人都是被关在“现实”这个监狱里的囚犯。

像所有囚犯一样我们也希望越狱，但是“没有自由”身不由己的生活让我们逐渐放弃仅有的那么一丝希望，逐渐让我们接受“无法从这个监狱逃出去”的事实。

电影里，瑞德曾经说过： “These walls are kind of funny like that. First you hate them, then you get used to them. Enough time passed, get so you depend on them. That’s institutionalizing.” （刚入狱的时候，你痛恨周围的高墙；慢慢的，你习惯生活在其中；最终你会发现自己不得不依靠它而生存。那就是体制化）

希望是危险的东西，但同时也是好东西。光有希望是不行的，但是没有希望也是万万不行的。

像安迪一样，每天挖一点，每天实践一点点，把看似遥远的目标具体分解下来，总有一天，我们也像安迪一样，逃出“现实”这个监狱，在大西洋的小岛上过上自由的生活。

Hope is a good thing.

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